Who Doctors the Doctors?
by LustMuppet
Summary: A little coda to the end of 'The Eye'. Poor Beckett, the only doctor on Atlantis has to suffer Rodney McKay's idea of sympathy. COMPLETE


**Who Doctors the Doctors?**

**Summary:** A little coda to 'The Eye', just because I love the Doc and someone needed to say what happened to the poor wee bairn.

**WARNING!! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE EPISODE "THE EYE"!!!!!**

**Warnings:** Nothing graphic, a little puking, the odd word, a little Rodney McKay being a thoughtless bastard, but then what else is new? - grin -

**Disclaimers**: The usual stuff, I don't own 'em, no profit is made, yadda yadda yadda. Please don't sue me.

-------------------------------------

At the last possible moment Atlantis' shield pulsed to life, throwing up a dome of pure energy over the city. Its inhabitants watched in awe as the vast wall of water cascaded harmlessly off the barrier to slide back into the storm ravaged ocean. The crisis was averted, Atlantis saved and Doctor Rodney McKay, multiple doctorate and certified geek was a hero. A boneified, hard-ass hero; even Sheppard should be impressed. And of course, unlike he'd told Koyla, the plan had worked, it just needed a little fine tuning was all. Not that Rodney was going admit that to anyone. It was all just part of the plan.

"Nice work Rodney". Weir sighed with relief, wanting nothing more then to sink to the ground with exhaustion.

"Did you ever doubt me?" The statement was almost self accusing.

"Yes, several times." Weir admitted, though truth be told she'd never doubted in his abilities. The man may be an egotistical pain in the ass, but when it came to the crunch, he had fortitude and courage.

"Oh" was all McKay trusted himself to say, what did she know anyway? He put the absence of trademark snark down to the lack of food and blood loss. Any chance Rodney might have had was cut off by Sheppard's observation.

"I see you've made a new friend Teyla." The major looked at the young woman with concern, seeing her bruised and battered face. Teyla turned slowly to look at Sora who stared back with fear and uncertainty. Sheppard raised an eyebrow; now that was a fight he would have liked to have seen.

"I take it we made it?" Everyone turned to look at Beckett, who'd remained silent until now, too busy trying to stay upright with a death grip on the control console.

"It would appear that way, yes." Rodney mumbled with just a touch of his usual snark.

"Oh lovely." Without another word Carson crumpled into an unconscious heap on the floor.

The Scotsman awoke a few minutes later to find several concerned faces starring down at him. He tried to say something, changed his mind, rolled over and threw up.

"Oh ick! Carson!" Despite his obvious revulsion McKay knelt down, and surprisingly gently rubbed the stricken man on the back as he continued to retch. It didn't stop him from turning up his nose and pulling a disgusted face though.

Teyla also knelt by Beckett and between the two of them, once the doctor had stopped throwing up, picked the man up and moved him away from the now soiled patch of floor.

"I think you should go to the infirmary Doc." Beckett only managed to nod miserably in reply to Sheppard's obvious suggestion.

---------------------------

It took only moments for the grounding stations to be shut down, the generators as charged as Rodney dared push them. Once the energy stored up was used there would be no way to replace it, short of another storm. There was however, enough energy to pump out the flooded parts of the city and maybe help power areas previously unexplored, for a while at least.

Once the corridors were clear and safe to traverse, Rodney helped support Beckett down to the infirmary. He'd been uncharacteristically concerned when his friend had collapsed into a heap on the floor at his feet. Something else the scientist wasn't going to be admitting anytime soon even if everyone had noticed. McKay forgot his worry for a moment as he screwed his nose up at the vomit tinged acrid tang of electrically charged ozone.

Teyla helped support Beckett into the infirmary and as carefully as they could, the pair deposited the doctor onto a diagnostic bed. Carson looked ill, pale and bloodied but his injuries though uncomfortable were not life threatening. Teyla was also bloodied and battered but it was nothing that she had not had, and worse before. She didn't envy leaving the doctor to the tender mercies of McKay even if she knew the man was genuinely concerned about his friend.

"If you'll excuse me, I will go aide Major Sheppard and Dr. Weir in the return of...our people." She smiled and patted his shoulder, careful to avoid his injured arm and headed for the door. Teyla paused for a moment at the infirmaries threshold, as if choosing her words carefully. "You did well today." With that she was gone.

Rodney practically beamed, rocking back on his heels and grinning with delight. A groan sounded from the other side of the room and spoiled the moment. Beckett forced himself to sit on the edge of the bed and put his head in his heads.

"I think she broke my bloody nose." The Scot lamented, carefully trying to examine the damage.

McKay wondered over to the supply racks, a mess of packaging and boxes littering the floor from the Genii's raid. He could easily see they'd taken a large portion of supplies, fortunately he also knew there were substantial amounts more stored away which, with any luck, had not been discovered.

Spotting a wad of sterile dressings, and a couple of bandages, he scooped up the supplies and walked back to the bed, hopping up to sit next to Carson.

"Ya know you could have ducked." He ripped open a wad of dressings and passed it to the Doctor who was looking decidedly green around the gills again.

"Oh aye, and you're such a bloody action man." Carson dabbed at his sore face and stared idly at the bright red blood now soiling the once white cloth.

"Hello, look injured man here, they tortured me too." McKay sounded almost proud of the fact and practically shoved the offending appendage in Beckett's direction. Despite the fact he could barely focus, Carson took the proffered arm and gave it a cursory glance before Rodney pulled it away again.

"How long'd it take for you to start tellin' ya life story and screaming like a lass this time?"

"I'll let that slide because I know you're not feeling well."

McKay dug around in his pockets, finally coming up with a power bar which he eagerly ripped open with his teeth. Carson watched him with dismay and nearly threw up on the spot when McKay offered him some. _'Thoughtless bastard'_ he mumbled to himself, McKay seemingly oblivious as he munched, loudly. Did the man have no mercy? He felt like crying in dismay and idly wondered if he started doing so, would McKay would go away and leave him be. Maybe he should just tell him to sod off, but then he was just to nice to hurt his friends feelings.

"How's the head?"

"Like the morning after Hogmany an' a Iron Bru shortage." Beckett mumbled. He really didn't feel well, and having to talk to an obviously smug and self satisfied Rodney McKay was paramount to its own kind of torture.

"Hogmany? Iron Bru?"

He sighed in miserable exasperation again. "Aye, the Scottish celebration of New Year, 'cept we know how to celebrate it properly."

"Iron Bru?"

Dear lord but Carson could find it in himself to hate the man when Rodney was in 'happy but smugly annoying mode'. The man had no tact and consideration for others at the best of times and seemed to be adding 'pointless question time' for extra effect.

"It's a soft drink Rodney." Carson snapped, wondering if his friend would take the hint. Then gulped when he saw Rodney's hurt expression. His stomach joined his heads complaining, the Scot really didn't feel good enough to throw up...again.

Stuffing the last of the power bar into his mouth Rodney finally realised how miserable Beckett looked. He felt a twinge of conscience and turned his attention to the messy contents of the room, finally spotting something useful. Hopping down again he wondered over as alarms began to sound, signaling an incoming wormhole. He knew Sheppard would recall essential personnel first, hopefully that would include medical staff.

Picking up his prize the scientist wondered back to the diagnostic bed and gleefully held out the item to Beckett like a child with a new toy. The Doctor painfully lifted his head from his hands again and starred at the item in Rodney's, taking a moment to realize it was a cold pack.

Sighing at the doctor's lack of appreciation McKay theatrically rolled his eyes, pulled it back and snapped the seal, whacking the bag on the end of the bed to mix the chemicals that would start an endothermic reaction. He didn't see Beckett's silent pleas for mercy as the doctor flinched, then cringed at every loud thwack.

"Ya know they say Doctors make the worst patients."

"Aye and you make the worst bloody Doctor." Beckett took the now well mixed cold pack from his friend and with a sigh of relief placed it over the nasty lump on the back of his skull.

"Hey, nothing like a little gratitude for the man who just saved your life."

"I'm sorry Rodney, 'I'm no' worthy', does tha' make ya feel better?" Carson felt a little guilty; McKay was trying to help in his own twisted way.

"It's a start." McKay grinned again and picked up the bandages he'd collected and began to 'doctor himself' seeing as Carson was too sick to help. The doctor watched in dismay as the silly man began wrapping the cloth around the outside of his jacket but really didn't have the energy to tell his friend it might have worked better on the inside.

Rodney had just finished struggling with teeth and spare hand to apply a piece of surgical tape to hold it in place when personnel started pouring into the corridors outside. A few came into the infirmary and distracted by the mess, stared in dismay at the destruction. Carson had given up watching him and lay down on the bed.

"There, done." McKay was grinning again as he stared at his handy work. Beckett wondered how much effort it would take to get up and slap the smile of his face. "Well it looks like you're in good hands now so I think its time to go get something to eat."

Just when Carson thought he'd gotten his rebelling stomach under control Rodney had to go and ruin it. "Food." He gulped, squeezing his eyes shut in dismay and in a futile attempt to stop the rising nausea, curled into a fetal position on the bed.

"Yeah, not that that slop they serve in the mess hall can be considered edible; but hey, even a reconstituted bag of mush would do me right now." He rubbed his tummy in gleeful anticipation of the meal. "Oh and some coffee, can't forget the coffee!"

"Rodney..." Beckett warned biting his lip at the mental images McKay's description was conjuring.

"Oh no, not again!" Rodney backed up.

Beckett threw him a dirty look, and lost the battle to control his stomach. McKay didn't see it; he was already running past the startled medical staff on his way to the mess hall. If Carson had known throwing up was such an effective way to get rid of Rodney, he'd have done it sooner, in the scientists direction...on purpose! Thoughts of the look on Rodney's face almost made him feel better.

FIN


End file.
